Dating in itself is a minefield, single parent dating can be worse. Every swipe on your dating app, every blind date and every person flirted with on flirt.com is no longer just a partner; they are potentially the mother or father figure in your children’s lives. Whether your adjusting to being single, been through a divorce, looking to start venturing out then this is where you put practice into action. Mistakes will be made, problems will arise and the thought of dating is daunting enough, but fear not here are some top tips to get back in the game.
Online Dating When the kids are asleep there is certainly no harm in a flirt online, sign up to specific sites that suit your needs and interests. Set your stall out with a good honest and up to date profile and get chatting. Developing your social skills, confidence and flirting is a great way to ‘meet’ people online and arrange a meet up. Chat to more than one and don’t always go for your usual ‘type’, types are no good online because you enjoy their conversation as well as their profile picture. Meet as many people as you can and enjoy getting to know them all before committing to a date. Don’t rely on online dating; do not let this be a substitute for your social life, use online flirting to build up next week’s social diary.
A common mistake when dating in general or online is to only go for partners who are your ‘type’, as you are probably acutely aware this may not have proved too successful in the past. However, if you want to get back out there then sticking to a type at this stage certainly reduces your chances. Online dating especially does not let you know the real person, don’t get me started on the TV show Cat Fish. But a well-adapted profile or picture may not be the whole story, so chat to many and enjoy the conversations and flirting, but now is your chance to get out there and enjoy comparing and contrasting potential new partners.
The First Date Well done with the online dating, or with the guy at work but date day is here. Before children you got ready for action and spend all your time planning what to wear, where to go and so on, not anymore. Now you find yourself running around with no top on, ironing your trousers which are already on as well as not letting the kids know that mummy or daddy are daring to step out the front door without them. Try to plan ahead, use a babysitter that is well known to reduce stress. Planning your evening around a more casual affair makes it easier for you to choose your outfit, as well as the choice of places to go. If it’s the coffee shop around the corner then you have been there 100 times, this will reduce your stress levels. Giving yourself the opportunity to make the date more informal will also help the flow of the date, especially if your meeting someone offline.
Sexy Time Just because you’re getting back out there and dating potential partners again shouldn’t automatically fill you with dread regarding sex. You’re dating, you’re having fun and you’re enjoying yourself. You are learning, going from date to date and bettering yourself. Enjoy it while it lasts. Having sex too soon can bond you emotionally, possibly to a partner that does not suit or that is wrong for you. A good date will wait for you, and if they don’t then move on to the next experience.
The big introduction – children Dating someone doesn’t automatically mean that they will be in your children’s lives, you are allowed to enjoy it for what it is at the initial stages and have fun with it. But knowing that they are good with children can be part of the attraction and if the relationship is going somewhere then introducing them is natural. If the partner is already in your children lives through sport, classes, groups, school and so forth then this is a great way to start. Sharing a common ground can introduce a new partner in a safe and positive environment. Communication is key here because as much as you think it’s a big step, so do the children. Talk this through with kids and new partner separately, communicate and trust your gut, if it feels right then discuss the best way to make small brief contacts to begin with.